TOP’S OH MOM: behind its creation.


Hello :D


There’s so many versions of the story, to be honest. But basically, a girl third year in middle school was diagnosed with a terminal disease, and she really wanted to see TOP before she died. so she sent letters to him and stuff, but when TOP saw those letters, he didn’t think she was serious because so many fans feign things like that just to see him. Then later, when she got really ill or died, her relatives sent TOP a letter/video of the dying/dead girl. TOP apparently cried after he read/saw/watched the letter/video of the dying/dead girl and composed a song dedicated to her.

Meaning of the Lyrics

How could this happen to me 
But even worse, how could this happen to you 
It began with a letter and was the beginning of pain 
I’m a tell it to you straight 

this part is essentially top’s lament on how she told him about it from the beginning (through letter) but he didnt listen. 


My body is ill, but you don’t reply; sorry I’m sorry, bye- TOP.

“My body is ill, but you don’t reply” is how TOP assumes the girl felt by his lack of response, and “sorry I’m sorry, bye” is how TOP thinks the girl assumed TOP to think. 


Oh mom, What should I do mom 
A selfishness hotter than a fire torments me, Oh my God 
Oh mom, I promise mom, What can I do 
Now, I now, Oh my God, Oh my God 

“Mom” is an extended metaphor throughout the whole song, the “mom” representing God. When TOP asks “mom” for advice, he is asking God for advice. “I promise” implies that he will do what God tells him too, if God will tell him what he can do. 


A desolate day, I receive a letter 
Your circumstances make me tear 
If my voice brightens your world 
Farther and farther, I’ll shout 
Nananana Nananana Do you hear my heavy heart 
Friend wipe your tears, I think you’re prettier when you smile 
Sorry I’m sorry, Oh my God 

This is when TOP finally saw/watched the letter/video from the girl’s relatives. He cried- “your circumstances make me tear.” Then he says that he will dedicate his songs and his voice to the girl if that can make her happy (and lively). The “sorry i’m sorry” here is quite different from the same line before, because whereas the “sorry i’m sorry” used before had a careless, “okay, yeah sure” tone to it, the “sorry i’m sorry” used here has a desperate cry to it.


Baby don’t cry, You may feel alone
Don’t worry, It may be lonely but you’re not the only one 
Look beside you, you’re not alone 
Don’t cry, You stand vacantly alone 
Don’t worry, It may be lonely but you’re not the only one 
Look beside you, you’re not alone 

This is TOP encouraging the girl not to cry and not to feel alone because people [TOP] is there for her. 


Life is funny, It’s a delicate play with fire 
Playful obstacles are life’s restraints.

This part is very significant. TOP is talking about how he didnt think the girl’s first letter was real, because of the “playful obstacles” (i.e. other fan’s fake illnesses) in an indirect manner.


Keep your head up 

Continuation of TOP’s encouragement.


This is what TOP whispers in the middle (its never on any lyrics-sites for some reason):

어머님. 같은 사람이라 생각하니 가슴이 답답하고 무겁습니다 어쩌면 죽을지도 모릅니다. 웃음소리가 사라지지 않도록 지켜주십시오.


mom. My heart is burdened and heavy that she may die. Please protect her so that her laughters will not disappear.

As i mentioned before, “mom” is “God.” the rest is self-explanatory: it’s a prayer.

so i talked way more than you wouldve liked me to. but my point is that yes, it was inspired by an event (a personal one, too) and yes, it’s a story of a dying/dead person. top is such a beautiful person. inside and out. just. UGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

I hope this answered your question, love (: 

idk. i just hate having to explain like. one part of the song. because everything is so much more meaningful as a whole. 

(Source: topneunim)

via noona-on-top